Tuesday, July 1, 2014

And We Call This Segment: Baby DADDY Drama

Going all the way back to February, flying to the weekend after Valentine's Day, C's father, E, and I met for dinner. No, this wasn't one of the romantic types. This was strictly business. I beckoned him that night to speak with him about his fatherly dues. Yes, I'm talking child support. I told him that I would give him three months to prove to me that he was taking his responsibilities seriously by completely two very simple tasks each month: spending time with his son and texting me sometime during the last weekend of the month, asking what I might need for C. I have to admit, at first I wasn't being completely serious. Mainly because I truly felt that he might step up to the plate. However, he did not. He actually stepped even further from it.

At the beginning of May, E's mother, A, called me and asked if C and I could come visit. This was not out of the ordinary as she had done the same thing about two weeks ago, so I agreed to meet her wishes. A few days later, C and I took the 30 minute drive to her house and stayed for a few hours. HERE is where something out of the ordinary took place. A and I, along with C, had been in the living room talking and such for about thirty minutes, when all of the sudden A asks be to let E know that we have arrived. Hesitantly I stood and walked back to his bedroom. His door was cracked so I pushed it open a little more. He was sitting in his game chair, with a headset on, and a controller in his hands. He smiled and mouthed "Hey." I raised my eyebrows and whispered "Your mom wanted me to let you know we're here...so, we're here." He nodded and proceeded to play, while I walked back into the living room. A few moments later, he walked out of his room and sat in a chair parallel to mine. When A asked him if he wanted to hold C, he reluctantly did. For. Five. Minutes. FIVE. And then ventured back to his room for the other two and a half hours that we were there. Needless to say, I was royally pissed off. That was the first time he had done that. He normally stayed and played with C and held him, but no. Not this time.

This disconnection continued, every time A asked to see C, I would bring him over and E would be nowhere to be seen when I dropped him of and when I picked him up. Eventually, at the end of May, I told him I was filing for child support through the court system. His response was "ok" and I don't think he took me seriously. Well, I filed the next day. And they rang him on the phone, and I received a text from E. He wanted to meet for dinner. Why? To talk about all of this. By this point, I was done. I didn't want to talk. I had made my decision and I told him I refused to pull the papers. He still insisted on talking, so I told him he could make the drive to my house. I wasn't driving - he wants to talk, not me, right? Well he had football. So he was tired. We never talked.

Now to my point of rage. This past Monday, June 27th, also C's Half-Birthday, E and I were scheduled for court. My step-mother was babysitting C because children in the courtroom are extremely inappropriate. I was dressed to the nine's because, well, it was court. There was a group of about eight people total that they called into the courtroom. They gave each of us a quick form to fill out in order for our case to be called. Just as I was on the question before the last, I turn around because someone storms through the courtroom doors. E looked like he was concealing a smile. That couldn't be his - "Hello, I'm Mr. L and I will be representing Mr. W today. Sorry I'm late, parking was horrendous." ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME. I DIDN'T HAVE A LAWYER. Readers, this "lawyer" was a goof. I don't even know if I could vouch for the fact that he is ACTUALLY a LAWYER. First, he was late. LATE. LATE to COURT. Never are you supposed to be LATE TO COURT. That was the first unprofessional bell dinging in my head. Second, he was sweating. The dude had to have parked blocks away. THERE WAS A PARKING GARAGE FOR THE COURTHOUSE WITH A SIMPLE $3 FEE. And he's saying that working as an attorney, he can't afford that? B.S., that's what I call it.

Right when I hand my form to the caseworker she asks if my mother is outside the courtroom. I tell her she is and a few seconds later she returns with my mother. Apparently, no one knew I was seventeen, thus still a minor. My caseworker asks my mother and I to follow her into a room across the courtroom. When we got there she spoke, "Miss. Andrews, Mr. W and his attorney have asked for a DNA swab to confirm the paternity of your child." I'm pretty sure my mouth dropped to the floor. Not only did this D-Bag show up with an attorney but he was also claiming that our child MIGHT NOT be his! "This pisses me off." Were the words out of my mouth. "This is absolutely ridiculous. I've never been with anyone else. This is embarrassing. He's making it sound like I sleep around. And I don't!" The caseworker was extremely apologetic. "Honey, I understand. My son was a teen father, as well. And they're STUPID. Boys mature a lot slower than girls and there were MORE than a few times that I wanted to just SMACK him UPSIDE the head." I gave her a half smile. Really, I just wanted to cry. I was humiliated by the whole situation and I felt like C's father was trying to fight for the fact that he shouldn't have to help with C's finances. "Is the baby here with you today?" She asked softly. "No ma'am," I replied, "we almost brought him but we didn't think it would be appropriate. Could we possibly go get him?"

"About how long would that take?"

"Probably around an hour, round trip."

"I don't think you'll have time today, but the next time they swab with be on July 14th. You'll go to the place that you filed for child support and the baby will get swabbed there. Today, we are going to swab Mr. W."

"Okay," I replied, "Am I supposed to be represented by someone? Because I was told I would be. And he has an attorney, and it's not looking like I have one."

"You have every right to an attorney, if you would like one, you can get one. However, our public defender will most likely not take on a child support case."

I nodded my head. "So can we leave after this? Do I have to stay for anything else?"

"No ma'am, you can go." She said as she wrote up a subpoena for August 15th.

"Thank you," I said and walked out the room. E and Mr. L were chuckles about something and I walked straight past them. I'm sure they saw the steam rising from the top of my head. Outside the courtroom, E's mother asked if we were done, as if she had no clue as to what was going on. I know who paid for that attorney. I pointed to my mother and my father and said "WE are done." I proceeded to point to the courtroom, "HE is NOT. HE is taking a DNA test." I then turned to my dad and said, "I want a lawyer." He nodded his head and said, "Okay, we'll get you one." On the way home he called a lawyer we knew, and by the time we arrived back home he had given us a call back.

Basically, the lawyer we called said that E's lawyer took their money and ran because attorneys can't do a thing in a child support case. Everything done in a child support case can be done by the parents alone. All E had to do was request a DNA test. They didn't need to pay a lawyer to request one for him. Regardless, they wasted a pretty penny. First, because C is without a doubt his child and second, because they paid for a lawyer.

I just can't wait to see his mouth drop in court on August 15th when they read the results of the paternity test.

Sorry for the rant and all the Baby DADDY drama, I just wanted to update you all on our lives!

Here's an adorable Half-Birthday picture I took of C that evening to lighten your moods!! He was "smashing" the 1/2 Birthday cake I made him. It was half a cake! :-)

I know it looks like he ate a bunch, but in reality he hardy got anything into his mouth!